Collaboration post with Nourishin x Nurtured Beginnings Online.
Often as first time mummas, we can get so wrapped up in the week-to-week progress of pregnancy with a huge focus around your pending birth, that it can be hard to think past it and into postpartum. The fears, curiosities, and questions around birth can start to swirl as the weeks wear on – what is labour going to feel like, how will I get from A to B, what tools should I use during the birth, will my baby need a smaller onesie, how will I handle becoming a mother… Whilst searching for answers to all these swirling questions, some of us may (without meaning to) forget the importance of truly preparing for a nurturing postpartum.
But those first few weeks and months with your newborn are a time for nourishing and nurturing – both for YOU as well as your brand new baby. You’ll be on the ropes from day one – learning baby’s cues, feeling the highs of love and pure euphoria of coming through the other side – along with some lows as sleep deprivation and the reality of the slow, physical recovery sinks in (remember you can always call on free professional resources like PANDA or For When if you are struggling – find their contact details here). As you slowly reconnect to your body again, you’ll also likely find yourself in a new dynamic dance with your partner, weaving your way back to eachother with the new rhythm of life. Motherhood is a journey which strips you back to bare bones, and allows you this beautiful space to be reborn yourself, if you allow it. This journey is called Matrescence, which describes the transition a woman goes through from maiden to mother. Just like going through Adolescence – you’re going through another massive transition of growth, unfamiliar emotions, and discovering who you are now.
But here’s the thing, many moons ago we lived in villages with a support system to help us through this season – we shared huts with our sisters, cousins, aunties and grandmothers – so there was always beautiful crone / mother energies to tend to us in birth and beyond. Women were held and nurtured in postpartum without question – with someone always around to hold the baby if we needed a rest, to prepare a hot meal or give us a moment alone in the bathroom. But with our current social constructs and the evolution of the human race, the modern mother in Australia more than likely has a fence around their home, doesn’t live close to family (aka their traditional village of support) and has been influenced by a societal pressure/social media to “bounce back”, or simply be able to do it all, with a smile on her face (spunky clothes, nursery and immaculate home included). But we want to help you shift away from those unhelpful ideals with 2 key pieces of advice…
Our first recommendation is to give yourself grace.
This can mean different things to different people – basically it’s about being kind to yourself and showing self compassion. Whether that’s allowing balls to drop around the house (the kitchen doesn’t always have to be clean), making mistakes and letting them go (it’s fine if you forgot to book an appointment), being a bit short with your partner when you’re tired (remember that you’re on the same team), maintaining your boundaries (saying NO to what doesn’t serve you is so important) or changing plans last minute that will suit you/your family best (this is the nature of parenthood that should be normalised). This new season of life comes with another whole set of priorities and challenges that can be difficult to anticipate and navigate. The good news is that seasons do change, so you must remember to take a deep breath and lean into simply doing what you can, and being at peace with that. Do yourself a favour and drop the pressure of everything being perfect -and if that’s hard just try to speak to yourself as if you would speak to your best friend in the same situation.
Our second recommendation is ask for support.
This can be a tricky one for some – if that’s you, I hear you, I see you, I’ve been there. My ego didn’t quite understand why I needed help to raise my baby, until I was burnt out at 5 months postpartum and had a huge tantrum/breakdown. When you are planning and preparing for your postpartum – we find it useful to ask: What does the postpartum that you’ve always wanted look like? Is it taking several weeks to rest, heal, and bond with your family with no visitors? Is that having a cleaner to take the load off? Does it look like organising a healer to come in and support you and your womb space? Does a postpartum doula sound nourishing for you? How would you feel about a friend folding your washing and watching bub as you take a nap? The great thing is, setting up your meal drop/meal train with Nourishin means no awkward conversations or questions over logistics or dietary requirements – it shares all the info so your loved ones can drop food at the door. If you do allow yourself to ask for support, you will be supported and it will make all of the difference. Not exaggerating here, but ‘witching hour’ can make the task of putting together a meal really difficult. But you will get through it.
In the end – we hope that you give yourself grace and allow support in.
– Aroha and Bree from Nurtured Beginnings Online
